God’s Got It
We truly never know how God will use an idea and I need that powerful reminder when I get caught up in worrying and forget to just be.
AprilSingsalot
No sense of direction
After leaving an awesome conference in Columbia, SC I planned to meet up with my husband and start our anniversary road trip.
My husband flew into Charleston.
I drove to pick him up…..in Charlotte.
So clearly not knowing where I’m going is something that crops up in many areas of my life. And yet it doesn’t stop me from driving around….
In my defense I was exhausted, the first 5 letters of both cities are the same, and they are both an hour and a half away from Columbia.
Thankfully my husband saw the humor in it (eventually) and we had an excellent vacation once I found him.
Trust me, I’m an excellent driver…..I just need to be pointed in the right direction.
Sometimes multiple times.
And maybe that’s what life is teaching me. All I need to do is create, and allow the idea to point me in the right direction.
Bootcamp wasn’t this hard…
At least with bootcamp there was a definite end in sight.
Giggles, Fits, Everything Else
While visiting a friend this week, it was time for her daughter to take a nap.
The child began to scream and cry because she wasn’t ready to take a nap, claimed she didn’t need one, and pleaded to stay up longer.
I was holding back a giggle because the very thing she was doing (throwing a fit) was a huge sign that she was indeed exhausted and needed a nap!
This got me started thinking about my reactions to all the setbacks, detours, and dead ends I’ve faced in life. How many times have I pitched a fit because things didn’t go my way, thereby proving I wasn’t ready for that thing in the first place?
More than I’d like to admit.
On a related note, last week I shared about our long road to becoming parents…and the fact that we’re still not there yet. (If you missed it, you can read it here.)
It was so helpful to hear that many of you are in the middle of waiting on something too.
God IS blessing you, even in the waiting,
The Weight of Waiting…
2003: I made a deal with God in an effort to secure my “happily ever after.”
It went a little something like this:
“Ok God, I’ve been through some pretty awful stuff. It’s helped me grow up a lot and you’ve graciously provided me with family and friends who love and accept me unconditionally. Thank you for getting me through. Now that we’ve got the hard stuff taken care of, I’d like the rest of my life to be smooth sailing. Got it?”
It seemed like things were on track too…I married a wonderful man, we have a beautiful house, I make music for a living…
You heard it, didn’t you? The inevitable but that’s coming…
We always knew we wanted to have children and started trying in 2011. We thought our dog Penny would be lonely once we were distracted by a baby so we adopted another dog, Shadow, to be a playmate when the baby came.
2012: No baby yet, so I applied to grad school, because I always heard you get pregnant when it’s most inconvenient to have a baby. What could be crazier than holding down two jobs and getting a graduate degree? This was definitely going to work…
2014: We now have two dogs,
I earned a masters in music, and….
still waiting.
We were diagnosed with infertility. The diagnosis meant that no matter how much money we were willing to spend or treatments we were willing to try there was no way we could make a baby together.
And yet we still wanted to be parents.
2016: We discovered the miracle of embryo adoption.
It’s a unique process that began because couples who have undergone fertility treatments often end up with more embryos than they can use. These embryos remain frozen in storage and are often called “snowflake babies”.
Our adoption agency matched us with a family at the end of last year and the embryos were transported to our clinic a few months ago. We get to experience the miracle of adoption AND the miracle of pregnancy…what could be better?
We are so close to becoming parents!
Close…but not yet.
I have been composing this post for months and waiting to hit publish until I had a happy ending to share.
And now I’m realizing that’s not what life is about.
Even though I would LOVE to fast forward to the happy ending!
God isn’t just here to handle the hard stuff or hand us the happy stuff.
He’s here for everything in between.
So I’m going to get comfortable with God and hand him everything.
My hopes, my dreams, and most importantly…
my timeline.
He’s got a plan for when this baby will come.
I will do my part and trust that He’s got this.
And whatever you’ve got going in your life? God’s got that too…
God IS blessing you, even in the waiting,
A Priest walks into a Harpist…
Sounds like the start of an awesome joke, right?
Even better, it’s a true story…
I was alone, driving a borrowed van, headed to retrieve my harp from school where everyone was already gone for spring break.
The place would be deserted.
This meant for the first time ever I would be faced with loading this massive harp all by myself.
Time to pray! “Ok God, let’s review:
~ I’ve never loaded the harp alone.
~ It weighs 96 pounds.
~ It is the most expensive thing I own.
The way I see it, we’ve got two options:
1. Help me do it on my own or
2. Provide someone who will help me load it…
(preferably a responsible adult).”
I got to the school, covered the harp, strapped it into its custom dolly, and started walking through the building, all without seeing another soul.
Just as I was nearing the door, a man came walking through the building and asked if he could hold the door for me. I accepted and then asked if he could walk me out to the van and help load it in. He graciously agreed and we accomplished the task without incident.
As I was thanking him, I realized he was one of the priests on campus! I smile now just thinking about how God answered my prayer for a responsible adult with a priest!
So glad I was specific, and so glad that God cares about EVERYTHING in our lives!
I created this meditation “My Hope is Built” with voice and harp is a great musical reminder of this!
Puzzle Pondering
When I was younger we had a 25 piece puzzle of Bambi (one of my favorite movies at the time).
I couldn’t get the pieces to fit together the way I was pretty sure they were supposed to…actually, the way I was VERY sure they were supposed to!!
So I took some scissors to the puzzle pieces and I cut them to fit.
Well, what do you know, they actually weren’t supposed to fit together that way and I totally ruined the puzzle.
I had that exact same impulse when I was putting together my tulip puzzle over the weekend.
The puzzle was from dollar tree and when I finished the border I had a whole bunch of edge pieces leftover.
I was so sure the dollar tree people screwed up!
Time to break out the scissors and make it fit!
Thankfully my husband walked in before the massacre began and when I showed him he helped me to realize that even though it looked like I had pieces left over, In fact they were pieces that went on the inside of the puzzle but they just looked like edge pieces.
Yikes! I realized that is definitely one of my impulses for life as well. When I don’t really think things are fitting together like they’re supposed to, I take my scissors to it and make it work.
“I’m going to pound on the pieces until they jam together.”
In reality when you find pieces that really do go together they fit together beautifully, easily, and it all just flows.
The resulting picture is much prettier.
So…the puzzle that did turn out beautifully and all 101 pieces I actually did belong in that puzzle. (Thank you dollar tree you didn’t screw up after all.)
Here are my lessons learned:
The pieces (and you and I) are exactly the right shape.
We may be in a place where it doesn’t seem like things are going to fit together, but we are exactly the right shape and have exactly the right skills.
We have exactly the number we need.
We may feel “not enough” for whatever situation we’re in…but we have exactly what we need!
We fit easily where we belong.
We can stop making ourselves fit where our pieces are not meant to be.
So if you feel like maybe you’re not the right size and maybe you don’t have exactly what you need to succeed I would encourage you to go buy a puzzle at dollar tree (or wherever fine puzzles are sold) and see what discoveries you have while you are putting it together.
You’re Fired (Coming February 1st)
I’m on a mission to get fired in February. I know that sounds drastic, but hear me out.
I want to fire myself.
More specifically, that voice in my head that’s constantly droning on about all of my faults and holding me back from pursuing my dreams.
So on February 1st I’m launching a 28 day music and meditation experience…with a twist.
Every morning participants receive an email with a short devotional and singing meditation.
I’ve created this especially for people like me who struggle with maintaining a morning routine but want desperately to make a lasting change in their lives.
Why singing? Because….
We most remember things that set in song (Hello alphabet song!),
We are most receptive to learning when we first wake up, and
We all struggle with self-doubt, worry, fear, and anxiety.
So we need more than just listening to positive music or meditating on encouraging mantras, We Need To Sing These Mantras!
Starting every morning with music that affirms our faith, reminds us of our strength, and centers our soul will change our day.
And changing our days will change our lives.
Join here and together, Let’s fire those doubting voices this February.
Music and Mediation Experience Details:
Starting February 1st, receive an original meditation via email every morning to help you start the day with confidence. An example meditation and video explanation is available here.
Deadline to register is January 30th.
Bonus: The entire experience (28 days of encouraging messages and original music) will be available as a FREE download following the experience!